Do you remember life before social media? It wasn’t that long ago.
In fact, when my youngest was born in 2003, social media was still a fairly new concept and didn’t have all the features it has now. I hadn’t yet jumped on board and I continued to use the phone to contact family living far away suffering bad connections and incurring high long-distance. As such, we kept the long-distance calls to celebrate special birthdays, anniversaries and holidays, as well as to share sad news.
Life used to be simpler
Personal thoughts and opinions used to be shared with family over the dinner table, or if you are Hispanic like me, out in the yard during an impromptu gathering with friends and neighbors.
If I were to ask a friend “how is your father doing?” the answer would be something like this “He is well! Driving us crazy with his thoughts about the country. Yesterday, he and the neighbor spent the whole afternoon trying to save the world.” We would laugh and that would be the end of it. The dynamics and details of that conversation would not be known to anyone, except for those within the household. Disagreements arising from any opposing thoughts would have been contained, unless the father was a journalist and then others would swiftly know his position. Either way, disagreements, generally speaking, were always contained. Life then was simpler and family life was not influenced by many others outside of it, and to respect each other was “the law”.
Cue Social Media
When social media was created, everyone suddenly had a platform and a stage light to express themselves at will. Whether using random photos, stories, or selfies every expression of every thought suddenly became public. Social media became a space of a mosaic of cultures, opposing thoughts, elaborate expressions where everyone was trying to find their place to fit in and be center-stage – even if just for a moment. We were and continue to be influenced by others on social media very easily and suddenly adapt lifestyles, thoughts and feelings that do not belong to us.
We find ourselves raising ideas that may clash with our own culture and opposers are instantly attacked when they express a different point of view. The respect that was once “the law” while having in-person discussion, abruptly disappeared.
He Said, She Said
Brawls on social media now are becoming common. Many users of social media remain silent about a hot topic and then, are attacked for not sharing and posting an opinion. For example, soon after the riots hit the streets all over the world in May of 2020 following the death of George Floyd, my daughter met up with her high school friend for lunch. Her friend was sad and told her that she was being harassed by her sorority “sisters” because she was not posting about racial injustice. My daughter’s friend chose not to get involved. She did not want to be part of the chaotic energy, and because she stood her ground, she was openly attacked on social media and accused of being a racist. To my surprise, this young lady did not defend herself, she did not reply, and ignored the attacks. Needless to say, I was very proud of her. Not being emotionally triggered and manipulated, especially by your peers, takes guts. To stay strong in your position and not engage with a collective’s opinion, is a sign of emotional maturity. God only knows I have struggled with that!!
Staying in Your Lane at Your Own Risk
Now that we are exposed to so much that happens around the world, there are surely things that will trigger us. Our experiences are built mostly on our culture, education and values instilled within the family. When we are exposed to so much information and stimulation, we get curious and wish for exploration. In our experimentation to expand our thoughts and habits and see life as others do, we may cause an inner conflict that is vastly unfamiliar and may throw us off-balance.
Unfortunately, many users of social media are not very discerning and allow information that they absorb to deeply influence and alter their mindset to the point of breaking up relationships with friends, colleagues and family. Suddenly, neutral ground where opposing thoughts and ideals on the most trivial aspects of life could co-exist, in my opinion seems to have disappeared. We are allowing one portion of our lives to control the whole of who we are. Respect appears to no longer be practiced, and “love” is just a word to be said without truly meaning it. Perhaps, social media has exposed what has always existed in society in general, and that we don’t often practice pure love and respect for each other. We may post inspiring and loving posts for whatever reason we are compelled to, but are we really and deeply practicing either?
The Other Side of Social Media
So far, I have described the curse of social media as I see it, however, I do want to highlight that it has been a blessing as well. Staying connected to family and friends across the globe, with all of the tools available through social media is very powerful and useful. I can’t imagine not every using it again! This is something my parents did not have when I left home and God only knows how much they worried without constant contact. Now, I see it as such a blessing for all of us to stay in touch. It is equally a great tool to educate and inform if used with good intentions. Expressing and sharing varying opinions could still be done respectfully especially when the opinions are of an opposing nature.
Why Are We Triggered?
If you are triggered by a politician’s statements, global news, or a friend’s post, take a moment and ask yourself “what is within me that does not like what I read or hear?” “why am I feeling so defensive that I need to attack, reject and shun others?” The truth of the situation is that we are the creator of our own world. Your level of happiness and joy is in your hands. If social media is triggering you, there is an internal struggle within that needs to be addressed.
When interacting in social media, discernment is essential. Asking if there is truth in what is being shared, and then waiting for the intuitive answer can help you avoid the emotional manipulation that so often happens on social media. If you are ever “attacked” on your post, I suggest that you take a deep breath, and stand firm in your belief; there is no need to defend or justify your post.
I often write about my personal insights, and my struggle with triggers. It is now the time to share. I know, what I stand for and I do not have any expectations of how readers will respond. I am a spiritual being living a human experience and I strive to make this experience joyful.
Should you ever wish to reach out to me to discover why you are triggered or any other emotional or physical issue, I am happy to offer my services.
Healing Firefly 